Such a sweet calling

Emma Kate has been sleeping well lately, but for some reason she woke up tonight before I went to bed.  She stood up and just cried out the sweetest "mama".  I only had to comfort her and she went back to sleep, no need to pick her up.  As I watched her, I couldn't help but wonder what happened when she was still in China and would wake in the night.  Did she cry out?  And if so....what?  I wonder if the other babies in the same sleeping room as Emma Kate disturbed her sleep?  I wonder if anyone comforted any of the babies when they woke during the night. 

I had to snap a pic of her after she fell asleep.  She is so sweet.

 

I have many images from China that I just can not erase from my memory.  I see them over and over.  One is this crib that EK slept in. 

 

Every time I lay Emma Kate in her beautiful crib, in my mind I see this little metal crib that she hated so much.  I know because the nanny told us that she cried each time she was put there.  This breaks my heart.

 

We are so blessed to have this precious child.  I am so happy to put her to bed in Her crib, and be here each time she wakes up so she can call out to her mama.  She didn't even know how to use the word when we got her.  She would repeat "mama" after me, but it took her several weeks after we were home before she learned that she could call out for me by name.  Now, "mama" is her favorite word, and to witness a child finally after almost two years of life learn what it means...is truly a blessing.

 

 

 

Being chosen to adopt....no greater calling.  Thank you Lord for opening our eyes and hearts to the orphan.

One month home!

We arrived home around 12:30am on December 5th.  I can't believe it has already been a month, and at the same time I feel like Emma Kate has always been here.  She has adjusted beautifully to life with her family.  We all love her so much and I could not have asked for a sweeter child.  She is perfect!

We have seen some changes in Emma Kate over the last month.  When we got her:
~She only wanted me to hold her.  Now she will let her daddy and brothers hold her most of the time.
~When she was upset she would push us away if we touched her, she hasn't done this in a while.
~She wanted to be held most of the time.  Now she likes to get down at most places and walk around.
~Anytime we handed her something she would snatch it from us.  Now she just takes whatever we hand her in a nicer way.
~If she woke when I put her in her crib she would start crying as if she were terrified.  Now she just whines to be picked up but she isn't afraid.
~She had this pitiful little whine when she didn't like something and now we rarely hear it, she usually just has a normal loud cry now.  I really miss that little whine, it was so cute.

Emma Kate has opened up so much.  She can understand a lot of what we say, not sure exactly how much but she responds in a way to indicate she is understanding.  She can wave bye bye and blow kisses.  She has her own version of saying bye bye, mama, kitty cat, and she babbles a lot.  She loves to dance and play peek a boo.  She loves to push her dolls around in her stroller and carry her purse around, it's so cute!  One of her favorite things to do is love her babies.  She will give them a big hug and say "Ooohhh loooove".  It is precious!  She is a very good eater, she loves everything we give her and she eats so much.  She has gained 3 lbs in the month we have had her!  I love how she watches everything we do and just takes it all in.  I can't wait to see her continue to grow more comfortable with us.  I'm excited to see what the future holds.

Gotcha Day

 

Now...

 

What does adoption feel like?

I didn't know how I would feel as we waited to go to China.  I asked God to grow a deep love for her in our hearts.  We've had Emma Kate almost three weeks now but it feels like she has always been here.  We love her so much and she loves us too!  I don't feel like we adopted a child, I feel like we had a baby.  I don't feel like we just got back from China, I feel like we just got home from the hospital.  I know it sounds strange but that's just how it feels.  Maybe because I was just so tired in the first days home and much of my time was spent just holding her and bonding with her.  Maybe because my body was sore from all of the walking in China with an extra 20 pounds attached to me.  We've been home only nine days but China is a distant memory.  Am I just getting old?  I mean nine days isn't that long but it was an eternity ago...  Each day in China was a blur and time didn't seem to exist.  Was I just jet lagged or was this God's way of creating a love that is natural just as with a newborn baby?  There was an immediate bond.  I watched eagerly as they brought the children out one at a time.  I saw the lady walk out with a baby that I could barely see so I jumped up and started to walk closer to see if it was Emma Kate.  The Chinese name of our daughter was called out before I even got a good look so I ran over quickly and she was handed right over to me.  I loved her immediately.  She seemed so tiny compared to how she looked in the most recent pictures we had.  The memories of that day are vivid, but China is just a dream.  I don't feel like I was ever there.  I remember it well, but it just feels so distant.  Emma Kate is such a blessing.  We are so very lucky to be her parents.  I am so thankful that I trusted God.  Satan placed fear and doubt in my mind before we started this journey and while we were in the midst of it but I had faith we were doing what God called us to do and I knew God's plan was perfect.  There were people that questioned us..."how will you raise so much money in such a short time?", "what will happen if you don't have the money in time?", "shouldn't you have most of the money in savings before you start the adoption process?".  "I don't know how we will raise so much money", "God will provide all we need in his timing", "I wanted to wait until we had more in savings but God said trust me and go now".  We stepped out on faith.  If I hadn't trusted God, if I had let Satan talk me out of following God, if I listened to the doubters, if I hadn't humbled myself...where would Zhao DaiXuan be?  How sad it would be to miss out on our "blessings in china".  We are blessed to have so many people praying for us, encouraging us and supporting us.  Each and every person who had even the tiniest part in helping us get to China,  thank you for following God's commandment in James 1:27.  You don't have to adopt, but please see what a blessing adoption is and pray for those in process, give up eating out a time or two in order to give to a family that needs $30,000 to bring their child home,  donate your time to that mama that is exhausted from fundraising and needs help.  It is so worth it and your one day or hour of help will mean so much!  If you think I didn't appreciate your help because I didn't seem to show it, think again!  I love every one of you for helping us!  I was exhausted and could barely keep up with what day it was but I appreciated every one of you!  I can't wait to share Emma Kate with all of you.  Thank you!!!

Time to come home!

I can't believe its time to say this but in the morning we begin the long journey home.  The last two days have been very busy so I'll have to create a post after we get home with pics.  Our first flight out of Guangzhou is at 9:25am Wednesday for us or Tuesday night at 7:25pm for everyone at home.  We will arrive in the Bham airport at 9:53pm Wednesday night.  27 hour journey!  Anyone who wants to be there is welcome to come, we would love to see you all!

As many of you know, the attachment and bonding with an adopted child is very different from a biological child.  While Emma Kate is doing very well, we still need time for her to learn what a family is and she still has two brothers to meet and understand who they are.  To help her through this transition, Robert and I will be the only people to hold her, give her any food including snacks and treats and to meet any needs she may have.  Please understand that we want to share Emma Kate with you all but we have to get through this time of attachment and bonding.  We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, we just need to do what is best for our daughter.  Please do not reach for her, we don't know if she would go to anyone but it is very important that we are the only people holding her at this time.  We are looking forward to arriving home and seeing some familiar faces.  Thanks for your prayers throughout this entire journey!

Day 8 - YueXiu Park and shopping

Today, Sunday 12/1 we went to YueXiu Park and a local mall.  As we entered the park, there is a huge statue with 99 steps leading up to it.  Guangzhou is the city of goats so the statue has several goats and the Chinese believe that the number 99 is lucky and represents longevity, therefore they built exactly 99 steps believing they would have long life if they walk to the top.

The statue of goats.

After we went down the steps on the other side, we came to a section of the park where people were playing hacky sack.  They get into teams and play together.  This is the second park we have been to with hacky sack going on, I guess it's a big thing here.  This park is where the retired go everyday to exercise and have fun with friends.  One team we were watching invited us to join them in a game so we did.  Carter kicked the hacky sack so hard when it came to him, that it flew past our circle of Chinese people and bounced off the top of another older man's head.  It was hilarious and one of the men on our team thought Carter did so well and everyone got a kick out of it.  I wish I had a picture of that moment.  We had the best time with these people!  We then went to a local mall where we could shop the pearl and jade market and some other stores.  Our guide took us into the section where the pearl and jade stores were and said there were 500 stores in this section alone that were all jewelry.  Crazy!  A few pics of the jewelry part of the mall.

They really pack a lot of stores into a small area.  The people working in the stores all bring their children and they just play in the mall all day while the parents work.

As we walk the streets of china and through the stores we constantly hear "Chinese chatter".  We don't understand what anyone is saying and we can't communicate with most people.  It's not scary for me because I have Robert there with me and we figure it out together.  Everything is confusing and it reminds me of how Emma Kate must feel with us when she only hears English and she has nobody to explain in a way she understands.  I can't imagine how scary home will be for her when she no longer has the Chinese chatter which she understands.  

Emma Kate is still doing well and continuing to make progress.  Yesterday while I was carrying her in the ergo, she reached up and started stroking my hair.  It was precious!  She pats me when she is happy as I carry her and it is too sweet.  She also smiles at us a lot more now.  She is loving playing with Carter and laughing with him.  I love watching her personality come out a little more each day.  Here's a pic of Emma Kate with daddy all ready for the big game.  

 

Last night was the first night she wouldn't sleep in her crib so she slept with us.  She woke up a few times crying and she was coughing a lot so I didn't sleep well at all.  She is asleep in her crib now so I'm hoping we can both rest better tonight as we have a busy day tomorrow. Consulate appointment, zoo and then a cruise.  I'm headed to bed.  Good night all!

Day 7 Martyrs Park

Yesterday, Saturday 11/30 we had the morning free so we went to a local park called Martyrs park.  It was so beautiful.  There was a lot of beautiful scenery, a skating rink, paddle boats and even an area like a small carnival.  We went with two other families from our group, both with an adopted child around Carter's age so we let them go into the carnival area and ride a little train roller coaster but the rides were more for toddlers.  We walked around and observed for a while.  There were a lot of people there, some dancing (like an outdoor dance class for adults), some were exercising, some playing different games and some were singing like a choir.  It was different as usual but cool to see all of the different activities.  Afterwards we went to Pizza Hut for lunch, then back to the hotel for a meeting to get paperwork ready for the consulate appointment.  The kids are great!  Carter has been awesome dealing with so many changes.  Emma Kate continues to grow more comfortable with us.  She just randomly decided to hug each of us and kept going around to each of us for more.  It was so sweet!  She has learned that when I'm strapping the ergo on, she gets to ride inside so she will reach for Robert to hold her and watch me patiently.  She also loves to ride in the stroller but only wants me to push it so she will look back every now and then to make sure I'm there.  She loves to run around the hotel room and play with all of us, the first few days she would only let me carry her and wouldn't walk at all.  We are enjoying china but I can't wait to take her home to meet her other brothers.  This is totally random but I keep forgetting to add it...a few days ago when we were on the bus we saw a cat on a leash tied to a tree right there on the side of a busy road!  There were people right there as they are everywhere.  I guess they were selling something and brought their cat along!  It was pretty funny.  Here's some pics for you:)

    I love this bridge at Martyrs Park!

    Giving sweet hugs by her own choice!

Random thoughts

Its almost 7am on Saturday 11/30 (5pm cst on Friday).  I slept until 6am which is the latest I have slept in china.  I wake everyday at 4am.  Everyday here is kind of a blur and it's as if time doesn't exist.  It's really strange.  We get up at 4am, have morning cuddles with Emma Kate, get dressed, go to the breakfast buffet which is awesome here, then meet our guide in the lobby for some necessary appointment each day.  We are exhausted when we finally get back to our room and wanting to go to sleep between 3-5pm.  Yesterday was different.  I forced myself to sleep in a little longer and after our daily event we got back to our room and let EK rest for a while.  Robert and Carter usually walk somewhere and grab  some dinner and we eat and go to bed around 8-9 each night.  We weren't so sleepy as we usually are so we went to Haagen daaz (did I spell that correctly?) and we had icecream for dinner!  None of us were very hungry after our big lunch so it was perfect.  Then we walked to trust mart which is their walmart.  They even carry great value.  I captured some video and people were looking at me like I was crazy.  It was so funny!  Imagine that crazy foreigner walking around wih a video camera in walmart and on the street just videoing normal life.  I didn't care though, it's just very different here and I want to remember it.  There are so many people everywhere.  People selling stuff on the sidewalks and people begging.  We passed a lady with her two children sitting there begging for money, then an old lady walking around with her little silver bowl begging and she was very short.  She followed us for a minute saying something in Chinese holding her bowl out.  It was very weird, like we were in a movie. Then we passed another lady with an infant sitting on the ground begging and then one more lady with an infant and a child maybe 5 or 6 years old and the child was laying on the ground to sleep.  It was very sad.  There are disabled people sitting or laying in the middle of the sidewalks just begging.  It was heartbreaking.  Poor Carter, I just love his heart.  He wanted to give money to everyone.  It is also very noisy on the streets.  I will never forget the things I have seen, really makes you appreciate all that you have.

Today we have a completely free day and we will go to a local park, I think it's about a 20 minute walk.  No pics but I'll post some later.  We seem to have adjusted to the 14 hour time difference now.  Thanks for following our journey and for the prayers.